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04/21/2004: "mind racing"

I was very upset when I woke up since someone was dying in my dream. But I don't remember who it was. I didn't sleep very well probably because my mind is racing since last night; I came up with some serious new business ideas and have been trying to figure out where I'm headed in the long run. I sent an email to my friend James to bounce off some ideas last night, then he called me this morning to bounce off some ideas. It was both good and bad because he gave me even more different ideas. He thinks that I should expand SOY to a mini-chain; I got a snappy name, great food that everyone loves. I have a dilemma about expansion, although it's sometime away anyway; I love the neighborhood and this particular street even though it's not really the best for the business. I also like the fact that I can oversee everything and can personally tend my customers, which I believe is the part of the charm of SOY. It's not just a place to sell food. The other night, one of my eccentric customer David came by because he wanted to talk to someone but no one was around. Sometimes customers tell me that they can feel that my heart is in my food, which they appreciate. Plus, I still haven't found any employee who believes in me and shares my vision. I have lots of ambitions but it's hard to let go of control. I don't know how others do it. This is probably one reason that I'm not such a good business person. I'm trying too much to be an artist.

I was having tea with Micheal this evening. "When's your birthday?" he asked. "September." "So you're virgo." "I'm on the border." "Like my mother, half virgo and half libra." "Exactly. What day?" "22nd." "Me too!" We started cracking up. "You ARE my mother! No wonder we get along!"

Beside my mind, I'm also getting back to road racing. That may actually calm my mind.