Taiyo is already learning to fall asleep without my help- what he needs are a pacifier and a pillow to press his face against. This makes my life a little bit easier, but at the same time, it makes me sad a little like he's already saying, "Mommy, I'm ok without you." It reminds me of a comment I heard from a mother in the neighborhood a few months back, "They grow up so fast it's depressing." That time her daughter was seven months old. The other day another mother of 20-year old told me, "Being a parent is about giving- you give, give, give and don't get too much back." But what else can you do, besides to give everything you possibly can and to hope that he'll be your best friend at the end? It's an investment with risk, the same as life in general. But a baby is pure joy, which I share with so many people every day. A baby always puts smile on people's faces. It's just so much fun to make him giggle- makes me forget about everything. So forgive me if I forget to make more green tea rice krispie treats tomorrow.
on january 21, 2010 @ 12:17 am [link]
Life with a baby is a life that you must have an absolute commitment and dedication to another life, one which is quite strong and amazing but at the same time so helpless. He cannot eat, dress, change, feed or entertain himself. So you spend all day helping this little wonderful breathtaking creature by feeding, changing, entertaining, talking, rocking. That's how I spent my extra days off around the holidays. By now I learned how to eat standing up white rocking him in a sling, to answer phones and write emails while breastfeeding, and to forget what used to matter to me, including running, biking, staying up late writing, going out, and so on. Now my first concern is to keep him calm enough so I won’t go insane. But all my effort is rewarded every night with the angelic sleeping face and every morning with the best ever smile, just for me to see. During a little time off finally I was able to develop some pictures from the past three months, including the ones from his early days like this, and amazed again to see how much progress he's made. He's outgrowing more clothes every week and I began to shop for a year old. As hard as it seems some nights, when I spend the whole hour putting him to sleep, the life with a baby is such a trip. So many strangers talk to me these days when I'm out with him. Other mothers begin to share their stories at the laundromat. Shopkeepers who hardly talked to me before always greets us with warm smile now. They all want to know how he sleeps at night, and I'm proud to answer, "he sleeps like a baby!" My new year's resolution: take every holiday off and more, and enjoy sleeping late with him.